One of the first things I talked to my therapist about was the anxiety I was feeling about my upcoming wedding. I worried that my family and friends wouldn’t make their flights. I worried that they wouldn’t find anything to do in the city. I worried that they wouldn’t have a good time.
My therapist smiled at me, asking, “Have they ever flown before? Are they all adults?”
“Yes,” I replied, laughing.
“These things may sound obvious, but you see what I mean. The people coming to your wedding are responsible for their enjoyment, and they love you. They want you to have a beautiful, happy day, and they’re coming to celebrate with you. If they see that you’re having a good time, they’ll have one too. Perhaps you might consider just enjoying the day.”
It turned out my therapist was right. Instead of worrying about all the details and trying to care for everyone else, I focused on celebrating, with my new husband, family, and friends. As a result, even though there were a few minor glitches (the caterer forgot the Alfredo sauce), the day was perfect and my experience of it was a joy.
There’s nothing wrong with taking up residence in a state of anxiety occasionally. Most of us worry about something or other every day. We perseverate over the future, about whether we’re ever going to meet the right person, if we’ve made the right career choice, or bought enough hamburger patties at the meat market for the picnic we’re throwing this weekend.
Anxiety serves a purpose. It keeps us on our toes. But when it causes us to be avoidant or interferes with our ability to fully experience our lives because of the breath-stealing trepidation and static it produces, it can become a problem.
Fortunately, there are things we can do to neutralize our feelings of nervousness and panic:
- Maintain a consistent schedule. We live in a fast-paced world full of twists and turns. Still, we can lessen anxiety simply by keeping our routines as even as possible, thereby reducing that “out of control” feeling that can happen when life throws us an unexpected curve ball.
- Don’t overdo it when it comes to caffeine and avoid alcohol or recreational drugs. It’s better to deal with underlying feelings than to self-medicate them.
- Get physical. Regular exercise not only helps reduce stress, but it also elevates our mood.
- Sleep well and eat right.
- Stay connected. Spending time with friends and family or getting involved in your community by doing something like taking a class makes a person less likely to turn inward and feel alone when anxiety-fueling events crop up.
- Use relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, visualization, meditation, or yoga to combat anxiety.
- Journal as a way of relaxing, monitoring triggers, and figuring out the things that make you feel less anxious.
As much as we’d like to, none of us can avoid anxiety altogether. Worry is a natural part of life, keeping us aware of possible dangers and spurring us to plan, but when anxiety interferes with our ability to reach out to others or take an active part in our everyday lives it can become a problem. If feelings of anxiety are crowding out the good things in your life, the therapists at Healing Connections Counseling can provide you with strategies to neutralize them.
References
Bates, Dan, PhD, LMHC, LPCC, NCC (2021, January 16). 7 Strategies to Manage Anxiety. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-health-nerd/202101/7-strategies-manage-anxiety
Kabrick, Siri, NP (ND). 11 Tips for Coping with an Anxiety Disorder. Mayo Clinic Health Systems. https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/11-tips-for-coping-with-an-anxiety-disorder
About the Author
Charles Davis, MSW, has written for several academic publications and was a semifinalist for the 2023 Mason Jar Press 1729 Book Prize in Prose. He lectures on a variety of disability issues, including legal rights and sexuality. Mr. Davis also writes a blog on navigating loss and building a new life at: https://gayandgrieving.blog.