An emotional wall divides Jackie’s existence. It’s built from the life she lived before her husband’s death and the one she’s lived after it. Howard died of a massive stroke just ninety days after the couple retired to Portugal.
Hopelessly lost and broken, Jackie returned to the US, desperate for the support of the family and friends she’d left behind. Buoyed by their love and encouragement, she inched her way toward a new existence, eventually launching a fresh career and even finding someone new to share her life with.
But years on, the trauma of Howard’s death still reverberates for Jackie. She fears the loss of those she loves with manic intensity—an ongoing condition that makes an unanswered text a cause for heart-clutching panic. No matter how far Jackie has managed to travel on her grief journey, the memories of her husband’s death linger, leaving an indelible mark on her current and future existence.
Trauma visits all of us—sometimes through life-altering illness, the loss of a job, fear of catastrophic storms, or the separation of death and divorce. It may manifest itself through the extinction of a dream. Trauma can come with the discovery that our spouse is unfaithful, or the shock of abuse at the hands of someone we trust. But no matter how trauma appears in our lives, it will inevitably resurface if we choose to bury it rather than deal with it head-on.
If, like Jackie, you are feeling trapped by the trauma of your past, Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing or EMDR therapy may be right for you.
In this blog, you’ll learn what Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy is and how it works. We’ll also take a look at a case in which EMDR was used successfully and figure out whether this therapy tool may be right for you.
What is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) anyway?
EMDR can feel intimidating at first (Let’s face it, even the name sounds like a technological trick worthy of a James Bond film). In reality, this therapy is actually a gentle way of asking our brain to focus on the traumas we’ve experienced differently—one that allows us to face our emotional hurts from a position of control and strength, loosening their hold on us and giving us the tools we need to move forward.
The brainchild of Francine Shapiro, EMDR was first used to reduce the intrusive memories of Vietnam vets. Originally called EMD or Eye-Movement Desensitization, Shapiro added the “R” or Reprocessing component to give clients a way to deal with the trauma they experienced in a more empowering way.
We’re usually able to handle whatever happens to us, but when we experience highly stressful events, we can become overwhelmed. Our brains short-circuit, so we aren’t able to process these events effectively. But these memories remain in our minds and bodies, triggering feelings of panic, anxiety, and depression when similar situations crop up.
EMDR uses dual stimulation to help clients process these memories. This may include following a light moving left to right on a light bar, using buzzers that gently oscillate in their hands, sound, or tapping. These tools simulate rapid eye movement during sleep (a time when our brain processes the experiences of the day).
EMDR stimulates both our left and right brains to work through not only our hurtful, trauma-producing memories, but also the unprocessed sensations in our bodies and emotions. It desensitizes or defuses the emotional charge that comes along with these memories and reprocesses them by connecting them to positive, empowering recollections so they no longer trigger PTSD, anxiety, depression, or other behaviors that cause unhappiness and havoc in our lives and relationships.
In contrast to more long-term therapy, EMDR may take anywhere from three to six sessions for a single traumatic incident, while more complicated traumatic events can involve twelve or more sessions to process.
The Importance of Healing Trauma
When we don’t deal with the traumatic things that happened to us, we risk not only our physical and mental health but our emotional well-being. Unresolved trauma can lead to the intrusive memories, flashbacks, and hyper vigilance of PTSD or the panic attacks and social avoidance of an anxiety disorder. It can bring the overwhelming sadness of depression or sabotage our ability to concentrate. When we bury past hurts, we can experience bouts of rage or isolation. Unresolved trauma can even leave us feeling suicidal.
Trauma unchecked can wreak havoc on our bodies as well, skewering our sleep with nightmares and bouts of insomnia, upending our digestive system through irritable bowel syndrome, or plaguing us with chronic pain. It can tamper with our immune system, leaving us at risk of heart disease, diabetes, and cancer.
Unresolved trauma affects our relationships as well. It can cause us to put up emotional roadblocks to getting and keeping relationships. We may also turn to alcohol and drugs to tamp down our memories or lash out as a way of escaping the pain.
An EMDR Success Story
Let’s revisit Jackie’s situation and see how using EMDR helped her deal with the lingering effects of the trauma caused by her husband’s death. Often overwhelmed by fear and panic when she’s separated from or unable to get in touch with those she cares about, Jackie decides to schedule an appointment with Tom, a therapist who uses EMDR to help his clients reprocess trauma and move on with their lives.
After introducing himself, Tom asked, “What brought you here today?”
Jackie was silent for a moment before she said, “Ever since my husband Howard died of a stroke right in front of me, I constantly worry about bad things happening to the people I love. If my new husband doesn’t text me as soon as he gets to work, I panic because I’m sure he’s been in an accident and is lying in a hospital bed.”
“I’m so sorry you’re going through this,” Tom said softly. I’d like to try to use some therapeutic tools that can help you revisit the images and feelings you are having when you think about how your husband died and reprocess them in a way that can help you feel empowered and safe when they come up again. But first, I’d like to know about the coping skills you use when you’re feeling anxious or stressed.
“Well, I guess I just take a deep breath and try to think about a place where I feel calm,” Jackie replied.
“Good,” Tom said, “I’ll ask you to use these skills when you’re feeling distressed throughout our time together. I’m also wondering what you’d like to get out of our sessions?”
Jackie looked down at her hands. “I’d like to stop being so afraid that bad things are going to happen to the people I care about every time I can’t get in touch with them.”
After telling her that he used a light bar to simulate the restorative eye movements of REM sleep, Tom explained that she would follow the beam of light as it moved from side to side. He said that this would allow Jackie to tap into the healing power of both the left and right sides of her brain while he guided her through the images, feelings, and bodily sensations she was experiencing when she remembered her husband’s death.
Before revisiting Jackie’s memory, Tom tested her reaction to using the light bar, asking her what she was feeling and noticing.
“I feel my heartbeat,” Jackie replied.
After finding out which light beam speed worked best for Jackie and what signal she’d like to use if things got overwhelming, Tom asked, “When you think about Howard’s death, is there an image that represents the worst part of the experience?
Jackie was silent. Then she said, “When he was just lying there in his chair not moving, and I knew he was gone.”
“What’s the negative belief about yourself that comes up when you think about that?” Tom asked.
“That I can’t do anything to save him. That I’m powerless,” Jackie replied, covering her face with her hands.
After assessing her level of distress when she saw the image of her husband and her feelings of powerlessness in that moment, Tom asked Jackie what was happening in her body.
“My heart is beating really fast,” Jackie replied. “My shoulders are tight.”
“Take a breath,” Tom told her. “Notice those sensations. Go with that.” Then he asked Jackie to follow the light on the bar as a way to begin desensitizing herself to the images and feelings she was experiencing.
Over the coming weeks, Tom and Jackie revisited what she felt when she remembered various aspects of her husband’s death using the light bar.
When he felt her desensitization was nearly complete, Tom asked Jackie how much she identified with the statement, “I am powerful,” when revisiting the memory, repeating the process and the question until she was able to believe it about herself completely, proving that she was on the road to reprocessing the trauma she’d experienced in a healthy way.
Is EMDR Right for Me?
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing may be a good fit for you if you feel strong enough to face and deal with the trauma you’ve experienced in partnership with a mental health professional you trust.
This ground-breaking, comparatively short-term treatment has proven effective in dealing with the way we process more than the panic attacks and PTSD that come from the unhealed memories of trauma. Not only has it been successful in helping people who are facing feelings of severe stress, depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, it’s also helped them be better at their job, deal with chronic pain, and heal the emotional wounds of physical and sexual abuse.
No matter what kind of problems you’re facing, the decision to choose EMDR should be one that you and your mental health professional make together. The therapists at Healing Connections not only have extensive experience using EMDR to heal trauma but can give you the tools you need to face a host of other issues as well.
Clinician Spotlight
Beverly Hansen, Kent Yoder & Taffy Spencer
Beverly Hansen, LCSW — Bev brings a calm, supportive presence for clients navigating trauma, anxiety, and major life transitions. As an EMDR-trained clinician, she helps people gently process difficult memories while reconnecting with internal strengths and a renewed sense of safety. She offers a grounded, compassionate approach that helps clients feel understood and empowered throughout their healing journey.
Kent Yoder, Clinical Social Worker Associate — Kent integrates EMDR with parts work, mindfulness, and somatic awareness, supporting clients who feel stuck in patterns shaped by past experiences. His grounded, collaborative style helps people build resilience and move through trauma at a pace that feels empowering. Kent is known for his thoughtful, steady presence and his commitment to culturally aware, inclusive care.
Taffy Spencer
, Professional Counselor Associate — Taffy offers a warm, intuitive space where clients can release long-held emotional burdens and cultivate nervous-system regulation through EMDR, ACT, and body-based approaches. She helps individuals reconnect with hope, authenticity, and emotional stability after trauma. Her gentle, client-centered approach supports people in rebuilding trust in themselves and creating sustainable emotional balance.
Interested in beginning EMDR therapy? Our EMDR-trained clinicians are here to support your healing journey.
References
“EMDR Therapy: What It Is, Procedure and Effectiveness. my.clevelandclinic.org, 29 March. 2022, https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22641-emdr-therapy
Linder, Jason N. PsyD., (2024, April 15). What the Heck is EMDR Therapy? Can It Really Help Me? Psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/relationship-and-trauma-insights/202007/what-the-heck-is-emdr-therapy-can-it-really-help-me
Charles Davis, MSW, has written for several academic publications and was a semifinalist for the 2023 Mason Jar Press 1729 Book Prize in Prose. He lectures on a variety of disability issues, including legal rights and sexuality. Mr. Davis also writes a blog on navigating loss and building a new life at: https://gayandgrieving.blog.