I was standing in the checkout line at the grocery store when I asked the woman behind the cash register a question that had been kicking around in my head for weeks. “Is it ever going to be the same? Is it ever going to be like it was?” 

She shook her head. Her iron-gray hair swayed from side to side. “No, she said. “No, it won’t, but we’ll survive.

It was an unseasonably cold April day, and we were discussing the weather, but when I asked the question, I was talking about a lot more than the bone-chilling cold outside, and the sharp look in her blue eyes told me she understood what I was getting at. I was talking about my feelings of uncertainty. When we’re feeling precarious in the moment, let alone the future, in more than one aspect of our lives, we’re experiencing uncertainty, an emotional space that can leave us stressed, anxious, and floundering in a sea of depression.

 

These days, every time we pick up our phones, fire up our laptops, or turn on the television, we’re bombarded by uncertainty. The climate outside our windows and inside our government seems to change at the speed of light, and global unrest disorders our days. Fortunately, there are ways we can not only learn to deal with uncertainty but face it with confidence. In this blog, you’ll learn about the different types of uncertainty, why you struggle with it, how to stop obsessing about it, and how to cope with it.

 

What does uncertainty mean exactly?

Hank is a planner from way back. He’s riddled with anxiety over what may happen in his job and whether his long-term relationship will last. Hank has always assumed that the best way to keep his worries in check is to figure out a plan of attack and stick to it. Unfortunately, life has taught him that plans only work when the circumstances surrounding them remain the same. Since this is about as likely as winning the lottery, Hank usually ends up in a state of uncertainty—a phenomenon that occurs when it’s impossible for us to have all the facts about situations that may crop up in our lives, making it impossible for us to manage, plan for, or forecast the end result.

 

What are some examples of uncertainty?

In addition to surviving a global pandemic, we’ve come up against economic instability, social and political upheaval, violence in our neighborhoods, and unstable weather punctuated by a slew of natural disasters. Here are some of the ways these disruptive events can be categorized in our lives:

 

Everyday Life:

• Weather – Climate anxiety is triggered by anything from the chance of rain to rising flood waters, unsettling us about what may happen in our physical environment next.
• Relationships – Unexpected circumstances, both inside and outside forces, can upend the delicate balance of our relationships, leaving a linchpin of our existence in doubt.
• Future Events – Since we don’t know what will happen in the next hour, let alone the next year, feelings of uncertainty are inevitable.

Business and Economics:

• Market Fluctuations – With everything from our 401ks to stock market portfolios in a constant state of flux, if we have money in the market, our financial future is in doubt, making it challenging to plan many aspects of our lives.
• Economic Policy – Political anxiety remains at fever pitch with rising tariffs and government downsizing. The effects on our economy are yet to be seen, leaving us feeling fiscal unbalance.
• Unforeseen Events – Occurrences such as the pandemic can bring commerce to a near standstill, leaving us unsure about which businesses and goods we can count on.

Personal Life:

• Health – An unforeseen medical diagnosis can upend our lives, making our physical future uncertain.
• Work – An uncertain economy can result in an uncertain career path, leaving us without the job opportunities or upward trajectory we were counting on.
• Relationships – Changing external circumstances and resulting personal growth can signal uncertainty in our relationships, leaving us doubtful about the people we thought we could count on in our lives.

 

Why do I struggle with uncertainty?

Uncertainty triggers anxiety because we need to control what’s happening around us to keep our anxieties at bay. But since the only thing we can control is ourselves, trying to manage our environment is not only a lost cause but tends to bring on more uncertainty, which leads to greater anxiety.

We’re hard-wired to see ambiguity as a threat. So, instead of using our internal resources to deal with it, we protect ourselves by pulling back, thereby spinning our wheels and creating more uncertainty. For example, anxiety over things like the possibility of a breakup can put more of a strain on our psyche than the actual breakup itself.

Finally, feelings of uncertainty are rooted in our concerns about the future and all the catastrophes we feel may await us there. This leaves us with a sense of hopelessness and depression, making the problems we can resolve seem insurmountable. As a result, we become immobilized, and solutions appear out of our grasp.

 

How do I stop obsessing over uncertainties?

The problem with expending all our emotional energy on the things that might happen in the future is that we don’t have any left to get on with the task of living. It’s easy to get suckered into believing that we have to do something to staunch the uncertainty we feel before we can move forward, but this approach doesn’t work since things like political and economic upheaval will always be out of our control.

On the other hand, there are things we can do to feel more in control. We can protest a political policy we don’t agree with or write our congressman and let them know how we’d like them to vote on a particular issue. We can invest conservatively and reign in our spending in a volatile economy. And if we focus on moving forward with our lives as best we can, the things we’re obsessing about will eventually recede.

 

How do I deal with uncertainty?

No matter where we put the blame for our feelings of precariousness, the truth is the only thing sure about the world we live in is uncertainty. We will always face disappointments, loss, and change because they are a natural part of life. The difference is that we are experiencing more ambiguity in more aspects of our lives than we ever have before. Fortunately, there are strategies we can use to minimize our feelings of uncertainty, take care of ourselves, and increase our sense of control in the bargain.

• Play to your strengths – Chances are you’ve been in ambiguous circumstances before and figured out how to handle them successfully. Remember the times you managed a precarious situation in the past and use the transferable skills you learned to strategize ways to handle uncertainty in your future.
• Take advantage of the calm – Use the times when your life is quiet to develop the skills you’ll need when it throws you a curve ball. Life lulls are the perfect time to walk outside your comfort zone, realize you can conquer unfamiliar situations, and make it out on the other side.
• Turn it off – This one is easier said than done. Just when we’re tempted to check the headlines on our phone for the fifth time in the last hour, it’s probably time to focus on something else—preferably something positive that will pull our minds away from that thing we’ve been obsessing over in an endless loop.
• Be your own best friend – Think about what you’d tell a friend who came to you with the worry you’re dealing with. Looking at your situation from the outside can help change your thought patterns and jump-start your coping strategies.
• Take care of yourself – Uncertainty breeds sleepless nights and zero appetite, but neglecting our bodies and minds is the last thing we should do when we’re stressed about what might be coming down the pike. Getting a good night’s sleep, eating a square meal, taking a walk in the park, or spending time in our happy place helps us maintain our equilibrium in the face of stress.
• Reach out – We’re all tempted to pull inward when dealing with uncertainty but chatting with someone who understands is one of the best ways of coping with our feelings of isolation and helplessness.
• Honing in on the little things –  This can help us deal with big uncertainties. Anything from making the bed to preparing a meal allows us to feel less out of control. Structure creates calm.
• Cut yourself some slack – Some of us thrive on chaos, and some of us don’t. Forgive yourself if you don’t have a water-off-a-ducks-back approach to the unpredictable and have a harder time dealing with ambiguity than those around you.
• Learn to embrace uncertainty – Shifting how we think about uncertainty may help us process it more effectively. Instead of seeing the obscure moments in our lives as something to avoid and fear, we can learn to welcome them as surprises that add variety and spice to our lives.
• Face your fears – Try to take a more realistic approach when dealing with uncertainty. While gathering evidence of what’s likely to happen, think about what you might be missing. Make a list of the strengths and skills you possess that will help you manage the situation, and picture yourself facing your fears head-on.

 

Uncertainty is an ever-present and inevitable aspect of our lives. Fortunately, there are successful strategies to deal with the ambiguities we face. We can meet them with a modicum of serenity and poise when we remember the times we dealt with uncertainty successfully in the past and accept the things we can’t control while controlling ourselves and our choices. If we reach out to those who can give us support and a new perspective, embrace the joy of surprise, and see ourselves as individuals who have the strength to face our fears, we’ll not only survive uncertainty but can use what we’ve learned from it to help us meet the future with confidence.

 

If you’re having trouble coping with the uncertainties of the world, the therapists at Healing Connections Counseling can help.

 

References

American Psychological Association, (2024, October 22) 10 Tips for Dealing with the Stress of Uncertainty. Apa.org. https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/uncertainty

Noonan, Susan J. MD, (2024, February 17). 7 Ways to Cope with Uncertainty. Psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/view-from-the-mist/202402/7-ways-to-cope-with-uncertainty

Reynolds, Marcia, Psy.D., (2024, February 9). How to Strengthen the Mind to Deal with Uncertainty. Psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/wander-woman/202401/how-to-strengthen-the-mind-to-deal-with-uncertainty

Charles Davis, MSW, has written for several academic publications and was a semifinalist for the 2023 Mason Jar Press 1729 Book Prize in Prose. He lectures on a variety of disability issues, including legal rights and sexuality. Mr. Davis also writes a blog on navigating loss and building a new life at: https://gayandgrieving.blog.